I laid in bed soothing my disappointed self. It's okay, I kept repeating. This one day's lapse doesn't mean failure.
Yesterday was a full day. We had family in town. We were returning to work and school after a three-day weekend. I was preoccupied. Then I went to tennis and wore myself out. I read to my daughter, did a few things around the house, and went to bed. My mat time slipped off my radar. For the first time in three months.
I must admit I had to coax the gentleness out of myself because it didn't immediately come. There was some self-chastisement, some "what does this mean for checking off the list?"
And then the new, kinder Julie kicked in. These messages include: it's just one day. It's not a reflection of you or your dedication to your project. And with some time I believed myself.
I am still slightly out of breath because I just finished eight sun salutations to make up for yesterday's zero. I turned on Coldplay's Mylo Xyloto album and got lost in the music and the movement. I moved more quickly. At first I thought it was because I was trying to finish the extra ones more quickly. And then I felt a surge of energy. My legs were straight! My heels brushed the mat! My chatarangas remain strong! I love yoga!
Then I started day dreaming about the play list I would use as a yoga instructor. I heard myself say, I hope my class likes Coldplay. Gentleness returned and I finished my eight slightly out of breath and warmed from the inside out.
Yoga continues to be such a teacher and friend to me. I am grateful. Namaste.
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