Thursday, January 21, 2016

Year to Date

Hello! It's been more than a week since I posted anything. I miss when I am not writing on my blog, but I needed some rest--physical and emotional--after my first post-divorce holiday season, a basement that flooded the day after Christmas, and high-volume letter writing at work.

The photo above is a shot of my magnetic board that is propped on my desk in my bedroom.  Before Christmas I removed the Fear sign from where it had been taped at work for almost a year.  I replaced it with another mantra and thought that I would tape it into my journal as a keepsake.  It turns out that I have some residual fear to work through. Particularly in the writing-my-book department.  I've taken quite a few months' hiatus from the book, which was good and necessary.  But now it's time to dive back in and I've found myself scared.  Even more scared than the first go-round.  I didn't have anything to lose as I wrote the draft. I've put a lot of pressure on myself to do the second draft well and quickly.  Basically, I stopped playing and started taking myself too seriously. 

I figured this out in the process of talking it out loud with my writer's dream team: Dan and Tammy. Writing in the morning just doesn't feel right these days, so I'm settling into how I can squeeze a consistent daily writing practice into an evening that is full of dinner prep, homework, relaxation, and whatever else comes my way. I am remembering that I don't have to have everything figured out--such a hard thing for the consummate planner to come to terms with.  I'm chipping away at the barriers I'd created to make writing the second draft seem so daunting.  I've started on Chapter One of the novel, and I am surprised by how easily the habit and good vibes of said habit are returning.

I have begun meditating in the morning. Either ten minutes before I leave for work or silent drive time prayer and meditation for the first half of my commute. I can tell a difference in how I approach the day after I've spent just a few minutes in closed-eye silence or drive time quiet.

As long as I remember that I am a work in progress, I'm fine. Those rare moments when I think maybe I've reached some plateau, forget it. My life gets super angsty and I start beating myself up.

Do you have any mantras that help you move through your day or through difficult situations? I'd love to hear them. Let's help each other find the words that help us make progress, but also allow us to feel wonderfully comfortable wherever we are.

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