Friday, October 13, 2017

13. Set Goals. Don't reach all of them.

2015 was the year of the massive goal-setting. I created my 40/40 list in celebration of my milestone birthday. A friend told me later that I approached the list "like a military operation." She's right. I had never been so goal oriented in my life. I leaned on that list for stability when everything else in my life made me feel wobbly, uncertain, and scared. Then I completed the list, and wasn't sure what to do with the free time and mental space that had been absorbed by the task completion of the year before. I rested the following year and reflected on my goal setting. I set an outline for the year. They provided some shape for my days: read more, work on my book, and rest. There were no deadlines, no absolutes. They were guidelines rather than goals to be met. They were exactly what I needed at the time.

The pendulum has been swinging in big long swipes—far to one side with excessive goals, back the other way with barely any. This year I've felt my goal setting finding its way to the middle of these extremes.

I am also coming to terms with the idea and inevitability that I will not reach every goal I set or at least not in the time frame that I imagined. This seemed problematic when I was working my way through the birthday celebration. Now I understand it is an important element of goal setting. If I am managing to hit every goal I set, I am likely not setting my sights high enough.

I have not reached most of the goals I set for myself in 2015--outside of the 40/40 list and 80,000 word count for the novel--seen in the photo below. But the exercise was invaluable. It forced me to take a broader view of my writing life. What did I want to accomplish in the next few years? What steps could I line out to work toward that? This year I have honored the spirit of the goals by writing for submission and setting my sights on specific publications where I want my work to land. Most importantly, the goals pointed me in the direction of sitting my butt in the chair and doing the work. Whether I've crossed off all the items or not, my butt has been in the chair much more than in the past.

I mother myself by giving myself goals to pursue while also extending grace when I don't hit them all. What's that saying? Shoot for the moon and you'll land among the stars.


"Glory lies in the attempt to reach one's goal, and not in reaching it."

~Mahatma Gandhi

8 comments:

  1. This is good. I tend to see myself as a failure when not meeting goals, so I struggle to even make them. Perhaps if I released things into stages I might feel better about moving toward the ultimate final goal? Thanks for sharing

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  2. I like "reach for the moon and you'll land among the stars." Great quote. In 2016 I set out (for the first time) to read the Bible through and I used the Message and a chronological plan. I did it and I was so completely thrilled and motivated by it. Then, in 2017 my Bible reading nose-dived - it was like "I did that" - not sure what the solution is or if there is one. I read the Word but not like I did in 2016. Glad I'm typing this comment because it's causing me to ponder and plan. Love you to the moon but will float among the stars with you for a bit. xo

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  3. I too need to ponder and plan. Right now I am trying to write my way through 31 Days. I faltered yesterday, but tried to come back today. Thus, proving your point. We don't always obtain every goal. I loved the Gandi quote is so motivational for me as I strive to reach the goal to blog everyday this month. Thank you.

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  4. PS, I tweeted a quote from this post: https://twitter.com/Maryandering/status/918872274618511360 Didn't know your handle to tweet at you.

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  5. Goal setting in broad strokes can be discouraging for me. Daily or weekly lists work better. But of course that means the garage never gets cleaned. Great post!

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  6. If you don't set goals that are out of reach and don't stretch yourself then I don't think you are doing it right. I really need to make goals that stretch me. What a good reminder.

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  7. Stretch goals are amazing yet tough because they take you out of your comfort zone. Great post!

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  8. I love the quote about reaching for the moon and you will land in the stars. :) Great post!

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