Friday, October 6, 2017

6. Buying Flowers

As I write, there's a vase of lemon yellow and electric pink roses sitting on my dresser. When I stand in line at ALDI's I survey the day's inventory of cut flowers. When the roses are looking good, I choose a bouquet or two. The dozen roses in my room cost me $8. A small price to pay for a spark of beauty in my home.

I mother myself by allowing this frivolity to balance out the overarching and overwhelming bents toward pragmatism and practicality that generally rule my choices and my spending.

During courtship, I was showered with flowers (on one particular occasion, two dozen red roses were delivered to work). Once married, the floral parade abruptly stopped. I was scolded for not watering the flowers I'd been gifted. I was punished for my perceived lack of appreciation.

Buying myself flowers is an act of healing, but it's also a subversive act. It's tripping a wire in my brain. It's disrupting the message that for a long time reinforced that I didn't deserve to have this splash of beauty. That I wasn't worth the effort.

The frugal part of me also delights in the fact that I am accomplishing this with so few dollars.


  1. Many comments: Thank you for the yellow rose message. (do you know the story?) The person who accused you of not watering the flowers? A narcissist per chance? Thirdly, even if they were 18$ they would still be worth it (however, I do understand budgets and all). Finally, Trader Joe's has gorgeous flowers with great prices. xoxoxoxo

    1. I had to google the meaning of yellow I love them more! Yes, to your second question. And I don't have a Trader Joe's handy, so I'm happy with my ALDI offerings. Thanks for reading and encouraging me. xo

  2. I LOVE this! During tough seasons I buy myself flowers. I have asked my hubby of over 20 years to get me flowers, but he chooses not I do it myself. I love the splash of color and beauty in the midst of times that are more dark and ugly (hard). I am modeling that for my girls 16/17. They love it when I bring flowers home, and they see me not waiting for a man to validate my need or deservance of them.

  3. This is beautiful! And sad. This is life. I've been there too. Good for you! Keep moving forward. Blessings!