In some cob-webbed
corner of my heart and imagination, the uniform of a writer was
draped limp and lifeless over a chair waiting for me. I walked around
in that room for years. I saw the uniform. Sometimes I even
approached the chair and touched the uniform's fabric. But I never
put it on. I wrote professionally for years, but because writer
wasn't in my title, I didn't give myself permission to call myself
one. I wrote in journals since my sophomore year of high school.
Still I did not call myself a writer.
Slowly over the
past few years, my heart and imagination have nudged me closer to
that uniform. One year ago today, I finally yanked the uniform off
the chair, stepped into it, and I haven't looked back. One year ago,
a perceptive friend encouraged me to write a page a day. “A page a
day for a year will turn into a book of something.” He was right.
That visual helped make writing a book not seem so daunting. I was
like the Forrest Gump of writing. I started writing and kept writing
and writing. I have written through confusion, heartbreak,
exhaustion, wordlessness, and fear. I have written through a stomach
bug, house guests, and the day I ran my first 5K. I have written
whilst working full-time and mothering full-time.
I have written my
way into understanding this: Writing is what I was put on earth to
do. It's why I hand write letters. When I stopped considering my
letter writing a quirk, I owned the letter writing as my space in the
world, and things changed. It's also why those letters repeatedly find
themselves in the hands of people who need a little extra love or
support. That letter writing was the preamble to my every day writing
habit. Both have changed my life.
I understand now
that being published doesn't make me a writer. Writing every day
makes me a writer.
So Grandma Steele
was right. So were Tammy and Christa and Dan. I do have stories
inside me that need to come out, and every time I write one, I feel
more myself than ever before.
I am excited to
think what another year of writing every day will bring. But I also
know that the only important thing is that I write today. Tomorrow
and the next day will take care of themselves.
Today's page is
done.
This was truly inspiring to me Julie... This was my toughest year in terms of not writing as much as I intended to, but I love that page a day goal. I think I'm going to try that because it's both manageable and motivating!
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