Saturday, May 6, 2017

Why I Did it

At three my mom could put my hair into a fist-sized bun.

"You know, she has so much hair I really should charge you for an adult cut." This is what the hair stylist said to my mom when I got my hair cut. I was four.

I have always had a ton of hair. And luckily, it's always been thick and healthy. For the first twenty years, I was a long-hair person. Then in college, I went short. Since then, I've had it every length-- a bob, a swing, and long, straight locks. I have donated my hair twice.

Today, I took in this magazine ad for inspiration.

I knew my stylist would be nervous, but I was insistent: the hair salon is THE ONLY place in the world I can be impulsive. This wasn't even an impulsive move...I've been planning and preparing for it for months. I was ready for a change of scenery, and after all, it is only hair. It will grow back if I don't like it or don't want to maintain every-three-week hair appointments.

There are deeper reasons for this haircut. I subscribe to Rob Bell's "Everything is Spiritual" dictum. Even haircuts.

In the years when I was more self-conscious, less self-confident, I didn't believe I had much going for me in the looks department. I had big, blue eyes and long, thick hair. Those didn't seem the attributes the boys were into, but I made the best of mine.

I have grown into loving myself inside and out. This hairstyle is one way of asserting that what I look like does. not. matter. I have so much to offer the world that has nothing to do with what I look like. I wanted to test that belief in a physical, tangible way. I know that there will be people who think I shouldn't have cut my hair or don't like it. That is perfectly fine. It's my hair and my decision. This extreme cut asserts this truth for me. What matters is what I think of it, and I love it.

The haircut also feels like a continuation of the shedding of physical stuff I have been evaluating and letting go of. The lighter I travel through this life, the happier I am. Could a super short hair cut add to this mindset? Less shampoo and conditioner. Less time getting ready in the morning.

It's a reminder that nothing is permanent. I have no idea how long I'll wear it this way, but in the hour I've had it short, I get the sense it'll be awhile.

My heart was racing as my stylist put the clippers to the back of my head. It felt good to be scared and to do it anyway. Facing our fears with courage and adventure is good for us. What change do you want to make that scares you?

I say, Go For It.

That is A LOT OF HAIR.

Not quite done with the razor comb. Look, my silver streak still shows!

I promise it looks better in person. I absolutely Love. It.
PS: I am proud of listening to myself and doing what I wanted to do. More proof that the forties keep getting better and better.



  1. You are brave and beautiful!

  2. It's not just the hair and eyes but also the smile that stands out.

    Take anyone truly happy and confident (about something that just happened or in general happy and confident about who they are and where they're at in life) and their smile totally changes them. A true smile - pouring out through the energetic eyes, the shape of the mouth extending up through the cheeks, the tilt of the head in relation to the posture of the shoulders - these type of smiles make a person truly attractive. Sometimes this is the glow causing or caused by a romantic attraction. More often, these are the smiles that attract others; that make them say "I want to be around her!"

    It's your eyes and your smile that make it clear you love your new haircut, the young woman your daughter is becoming and all of who you are right now: inside and out! Thanks for continuing to share the smiles which attract us as they flow though your writing before we ever see a picture of your grin.

  3. ❤️ this. You are beautiful inside and out and an inspiration..."The haircut also feels like a continuation of the shedding of physical stuff I have been evaluating and letting go of. The lighter I travel through this life, the happier I am."

  4. You are so beautiful. I love everything about this.

  5. Good for you Julie! I love your confidence and the fact that you did this for YOU and it doesn't matter what anyone else's wonderful to see you continue to grow and evolve. (P.S. And btw, you look amazing too!)